I dropped Warhammer 40,000:Space Marine into my Steam shopping cart on Jul 2, 2012. I spent $29.97 for a purchase that included a version of Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II(Complete Pack version, whatever that is....) and Dawn of War II: Retribution - Complete DLC Bundle. I have no idea whether I bought these games as a unified bundle or dropped them all in the shopping cart separately, but I suspect the former. To be honest, I am still not entirely clear on whether "Warhammer 40,000:Dawn of War II" and "Dawn of War II: Retribution" are actually different games. (I suppose I'll find out, if this project lasts long enough....)
Why did I buy it? I wish I could say with any certainty. My memory is very foggy. But I believe at some point before this I overheard a conversation on the Lunchbox Bandits Ventrilo server among people who had recently played Retribution. It sounded like they had enjoyed it. When something that looked like Retribution's complete DLC version turned up on Steam for sale (probably bundled with the other two games) I sort of remembered that conversation even though it was days or months later. So I probably intended to purchase Retribution and "Space Marine" arrived as a sort of add-on.
"Space Marine" then sat unplayed and uninstalled in my inventory for 18 months. It shared this fate with the other two 40K games purchased in the same transaction. Unlike the others though, "Space Marine" occasionally induced pangs of mild guilt. Every so often, the game would be prominently displayed for sale on Steam, along with its Metacritic rating of 74, reminding me that I had wasted money on what was probably a perfectly decent game. Worse, Amazon kept recommending the game to me, which was at least a tell-tale sign that it was the sort of game I might actually enjoy playing. The relief from knowing Amazon had yet to obtain access to the contents of my Steam library only mildly compensated for the discomfort of being reminded that I payed for the right to play "Space Marine", but then had never actually bothered.
I occasionally felt as though the ghost of my ancient paternal grandfather was whispering "Waste not, want not..." and mumbling other incoherent, long-forgotten frugality-lauding aphorisms into my ear. In life, the man knew them all, and would recite them whenever remotely appropriate. Grampa was born in 1898, and lived for just over a century. He was in his mid-thirties when he lost his savings in the Great Depression and his forties when he worked in the Manhattan Project during World War II. He was 50 when the first transistor-based computer went online and over 70 when the Apollo Project put a man on the Moon. By the time I knew him as a child he was positively ancient, older than most men ever get to be. He lead an amazing life.
But by the time I was a young man I disliked him. And I knew the feeling was mutual because he had openly said so. Its not really worth going into the specifics, but in the Summer 1991 we had a huge falling out. He made it clear he thought I was both ungrateful and undeserving. And I decided I would never again attempt to gain his approval.
Over two decades later, more than a decade buried, Grandpa sits on my shoulder, giving me a hard time about "Space Marine". The feeling induced is simultaneously mournful, irritating and completely ridiculous.
So "Space Marine" was the perfect game with which to begin the long march through half-forgotten Steam fire sales and impulse buys. Perhaps more than any of its neglected kin, it induced the guilt which caused me to make this accursed resolution to begin with. I specifically had it in mind when I made the resolution.
Which of course, has nothing to do with how I picked the first game to spend an hour with. I looked at my Steam library, saw the number "105" under "All Games". Then I went to Random.org, put in the numbers 1 and 105 and got the number 37. Counting down the list turned up "FTL: Faster Than Light" which I HAD played (4 hours according to Steam) the same day I purchased it. So I tried again. Game number 97 turned out to be "Space Marine". Just the sort of Cosmic Irony that makes it difficult to believe the universe has no creator or that this creator has no sense of humor.
Now I'm tired and sad. More thoughts on "Space Marine" next time.
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